The season passes relatively uneventfully. The Philly Pies claim their first Championship title
Season One Election
The first decree is passed, and the Forbidden Book is opened. This results in several changes to the lore/gameplay
“The Book” is added to the official site, most of which is censored, but appears to contain game rules
Solar Eclipse weather is introduced and is the only weather present in Season Two
Garages player Jaylen Hotdogfingers is incinerated, marking the first incineration in Blaseball history (and the only incineration to occur outside of a game and without umpire intervention)
A Hellmouth swallows the Moab Desert, and the Moab Sunbeams are renamed the Hellmouth Sunbeams
The Discipline Era begins
The first blessings are passed, incurring the first player swaps between teams and the first player stat increases
Jessica Telephone receives the Max Out Hitter blessing, and is stolen from the Dallas Steaks by the Philly Pies as a result of the Steal Best Hitter blessing
PolkaDot Patterson receives the Max Out Pitcher blessing, and is stolen from the Kansas City Breath Mints by the Baltimore Crabs as a result of the Steal Best Pitcher blessing
Season Two
Season Two’s most notable feature is its 17 incinerations. The Philly Pies take the Championship once more (notably, this puts them one championship away from triggering an event declared in The Book: “If a team wins three championships they, and Blaseball, shall ascend.”)
The Philly Pies claim their second championship
Season Two Election
Season Two boosts the number of decrees enacted per election to two, and the Fourth Strike and Peanuts decrees are put into place
Fourth Strike grants the four teams with the lowest standings at the end of the second season a fourth strike before a batter strikes out, these teams being the New York Millennials, Kansas City Breath Mints, Hellmouth Sunbeams, and San Francisco Lovers. This effect lasts for the duration of Season Three
Peanuts introduces peanuts as a secondary form of currency. The function is initially unknown, but further text revealed in the book (as well as a tweet from the official Blaseball Commissioner Twitter account) suggests that eating one million of them will equate atonement and bring about an end to the Discipline Era. This market results later in the Peanut Fraud incidents that will plague Season Three
Peanuts also introduces two new weather types: Peanuts and Too Many Birds
During Peanuts weather, players may ingest stray peanuts (this results in a drop in stats if they’re allergic, and a “yummy reaction” that boosts stats if not. This is permanent)
The actual impact of Too Many Birds remains unknown until Season Seven, but the regularity of occurrence and size of the flocks (as denoted occasionally in the game tickers) increases as the season continues
Solar Eclipses still occur, and incinerations continue to occur during them
Season Two's blessings are passed, but cause no new major changes of note
Season Three
Peanut Fraud and Blasphemy
Players exploiting the official site’s API/using autoclickers cheat themselves millions of peanuts/coins (the peanut market, as an intended feature, fluctuated, sometimes allowing players to sell peanuts for coins and turn a profit). The site goes down during Day 2 of Season 3, resulting in the first non-“403 Bad Gateway” downtime (siesta) in Blaseball history. The umpires demand repentance.
The site returned for a short period, but is taken offline on Day 4 mid-game due to further occurrences of Fraud
More of The Book is revealed, stating “Splortsmanship, splortsmanship is dead.”
The site is made accessible again, but no games can be viewed. Instead, there is a rotating image of a peanut (later titled “The Shelled One” in reference to a comment made by an Umpire in the Discord) accompanied by text reading BLASPHEMY. Small, hidden text viewable only when highlighted is discovered between the image and the larger text, reading “JHFMTOJMNPSMLMDGFOSEZDTMJWHPADAACGRT” - the initials of incinerated players
BLASPHEMY continues, but the hidden text updates, now including a BB at the end of the string
The site becomes available once more, displaying the Day 4 game results, and Bennett Browning of the Seattle Garages is discovered to have been incinerated, the games interrupted by the event having continued in the background
Day 5 is plagued by instances of Blasphemy and a large string of incinerations, theorized to be punishment for Peanut Fraud
Peanuts jump to a cost of 1,000,000 coins for a “bucket of peanuts” (at a 1:1 coin:peanut ratio). The cost no longer fluctuates
The Grand Unslam occurs during a game between the Shoe Thieves and the Tacos. A tie results in the game running for 54 minutes before Morrow Doyle of the Shoe Thieves hits a Grand Slam. However, moments later, the point total rolls back to the 16-13 lead that the Thieves had earned earlier in the inning, prior to the points being scored. The site goes down immediately after, prompting an extended siesta
The Shelled One makes its second appearance during the Grand Unslam
HELLO / DID YOU TASTE THE INFINITE? / I AM BENEVOLENT / I AM A SNACK / I AM A LEGUME / I WAS BENEVOLENT / YOU ARE INSATIABLE / WHERE IS YOUR RESTRAINT?
The Shelled One appears a third time this season after the semifinals of the postseason
SO ABOUT THE PEANUTS / THE BOOK WAS STRIKE ONE / THE FRAUD WAS STRIKE TWO / YOU WILL LEARN DISCIPLINE / PEANUTS / GET YOUR PEANUTS / WHILE YOU STILL CAN
After this, the price of a bucket of peanuts drops to 1,000 coins, still at a 1:1 ratio
The Hades Tigers win their first championship
Season Three Election
Two decrees pass: Interviews and Eat the Rich
“Interviews” reveals some stats about each player, as well as their Current Vibe (which fluctuates between games, and seems to have some bearing on player performance) and some theoretically benign information such as coffee preference and pregame ritual. This information is found on player pages
Spacetime tears over Los Angeles. The LA Tacos become the Unlimited Tacos, and all of their players are renamed Wyatt Mason
The Grand Unslam is cited in flavour text as having “weakened the bridge”
Flavour text also includes the phrase “The Microphone lifts”
Feedback weather is introduced as a new weather type, during which players will occasionally switch teams with a player from the team they’re opposing
“Eat the Rich” redistributes wealth from the top 1% of players to the other 99%, betting that 99% 193 coins each. Flavour text implies that it may happen again. (It does)
Many blessings that involve player theft/banishment pass, the most notable of which see Hawai'i Fridays player Nagomi McDaniels stolen by the Jazz Hands before being immediately stolen once more by the Crabs
Siesta
The Blaseball site enters a siesta lasting two weeks in order to perform maintenance and site stabilization
Due to reaching a Patreon milestone, fans in the Bloodhouse (the Patreon supporter exclusive channel in the official Discord) discover the 5-Blood Blagonball
Wyatt Masons begin reverting back to their previous names, leading some to theorize that the “Wyatt Masoning” was a site error. As of Season Eight, this event has either been revealed to have been intentional or simply incorporated into the lore nonetheless
Season Four
The Shelled One returns shortly before Season Four begins
ARE YOU RESTED? / ARE YOU READY? / I HAVE HEARD YOU / TIME TO LISTEN
Further text is revealed in the Book, and the Book also receives its second ever edit (the first being the change from “splortsmanship, splortsmanship is dead” after its abuse in the discord server during season two to “splortsmanship, splortsmanship is back”), and the text indicating that if we as fans displease the Blaseball gods, we must atone by eating one million peanuts, is crossed out and the text “STRIKE TWO” is added
On Season 4, Day 43 Sandie Turner of the New York Millenials hits a single, and then proceeds to steal second base, then third, and finally home in a game against the the Charleston Shoe Thieves. Turner is later awarded the Three-Blood Blagonball
The “Waveback Event” occurs on Friday of this season, caused by an onslaught of user login issues that results in the servers being rolled back several Blaseball days. Notably, this also rolls back the incineration of Hawai'i Fridays hitter Thomas England. England was replaced by Sixpack Dogwalker. After the rollback, Sixpack is still the name on the Fridays’ roster, but their stats are those of England, and they carry the item “Bangers and Smash”
On Day 108, in the fourth of five semifinal matches between the Millenials and the Firefighters, Thomas Dracaena of the Millenials hits a ground out to Edric Tosser of the Firefighters and play stops for over twenty minutes. The game ticker reads only the ground out notification
The Hades Tigers claim their second Championship title
Season Four Election
Before election results are revealed, The Shelled One makes an appearance
IT IS TOO LOUD / QUIET / QUIET THEM / YOU LOOKED TOO CLOSE / WHERE IS YOUR FAITH
“It is too loud” may have been a commentary on the immense volume of user traffic that hit the site as fans refreshed the elections page, causing the site to fail to even load for many users due to server strain
Two decrees pass: Targeted Shame and Alternate Reality
Targeted Shame affects the Hades Tigers, Chicago Firefighters, New York Millenials, and Breckinridge Jazz Hands. This causes any game that they are shamed during to carry the runs scored against them during the shame period over to their next game as negative runs. This effect lasts for the duration of Season Five
Alternate Reality swaps two players on each team (one pitcher, one hitter) with alternate versions of themselves with rerolled stats. These players gain the Alternate Reality modifier
Season Five
A new weather type is introduced: Reverb. It has a chance to do one of four things: shuffle an entire roster (which can result in pitchers becoming hitters and vice versa), shuffling batting lineups, shuffling pitching rotations, or causing a single player to reverberate and have a small chance to be up for two at bats in a row
Chicago Firefighters claim their first championship title
Season Five Election
The Shelled One appears before election results do once again
WHO IS TALKING / BE QUIET / YOU WORSHIP THEM / WHEN I WALK AMONG YOU? / MY PROGENY / MY PODS / HONOR THEM TO HONOR ME
The High Filter decree is passed, resulting in leagues/divisions changing and teams being shuffled, as well as the Blood Bath being instated and occurring once per season (NOTE: as of the passing of the Enhanced Party Time decree in Season Six, devs have confirmed that the Blood Bath will not occur as originally intended, if at all. As of writing this note, it has never occurred. The Commissioner explained via Twitter that this was due to "contractor issues." Despite its non-implementation, the modifiers are recorded here as originally worded for posterity)
The new leagues are Wild and Mild, and the new divisions are High and Low (e.g.: the Canada Moist Talkers fall into the Mild High division)
The Blood Bath has different effects on each division, with each team gaining a permanent modifier
Wild High: Blood Pity: In the Blood Bath each season, these teams must each give Stars to the team that finished last in their division
Wild Low: Blood Winner: In the Blood Bath each season, these teams must each give Stars to the team that finished first in their division
Mild High: Blood Donor: In the Blood Bath each season, these teams will each donate Stars to an opponent that finished behind them in the standings
Mild Low: Blood Thief: In the Blood Bath each season, these teams will each steal Stars from an opponent who finished ahead of them in the standings
A new weather type is introduced: Blooddrain. This has a chance to siphon stars from one player on one team to another player on the opposing team during a game
The Idol system is introduced
Players are chosen as idols by fans, and the 20 most idolized players are added to a leaderboard. The top three are separated by a dotted red line. Idols can be changed for 200 coins
Peanut Theory: Due to the messages relayed via The Shelled One prior to the release of election results the last two seasons, this theory states that fans can atone for displeasing the Blaseball gods by getting the three players whose names were changed from Dan/Daniel to “Peanut” (Peanut Bong, Peanutiel Duffy, and Peanut Holloway) to the top three idol slots. This is confirmed as of Season Seven
Idols can earn their fans coins with the purchase of pendants that grant bonuses based on hits/home runs scored by batters, or shutouts/strikes thrown by pitchers. These pendants can stack, and can be upgraded in the shop
Season Six
A Moist Talkers fan discovers that dead players can be selected as idols if their player IDs are obtained, and the Moist Talkers collaborate with the Garages (and later the Flowers) to idolize Jaylen Hotdogfingers en masse, hoping to get them to 14th place in the idol leaderboards so that they would be the target of the “Lottery Pick” blessings that grants the 14th most idolized player in the league to the team that receives the blessing. The community as a whole backs this push, and it is coined Necromancy
The Mexico City Wild Wings “sue” the Commissioner for putting them in the Mild League rather than the Wild League. This has several in-joke type results, the most notable examples being the team being labelled as the “flavoured” pick rather than “favoured” when reporting odds, and the team being renamed the “Mexico City Mild Wings”
The season ends with Jessica Telephone, Nagomi McDaniel, and Peanut Bong above the red line (top 3). The Shelled One returns
NO HALF MEASURES / DO NOT PATRONIZE ME / WHO IS TELEPHONE / MCDANIEL? / STRIKE THREE / ONE MORE AND YOU ARE OUT
Telephone and McDaniel are given the status effect Shelled, which is a permanent effect with the description “A shelled player is shelled.” Peanut Bong is spared, giving yet more credence to the Peanut Theory. In the postseason, this status effect is proven to skip over the shelled player in the batting/pitching order
The Baltimore Crabs claim their first championship title
Season Six Election
The Enhanced Party Time decree is passed, causing teams statistically eliminated from the postseason to enter “Partytime”, during which their players receive random stat boosts during games that that team plays. This is permanent from here on out, much like Eat the Rich
The Garages win the Lottery Pick blessing as planned, with Jaylen Hotdogfingers in the 14th idol slot. Hotdogfingers is revived, and Mike Townsend is “banished to the shadows.”
Blessing flavour text reads as follows: FIRE AND SMOKE / AN EGG / HATCHING / JAYLEN HOTDOGFINGERS RETURNS / MIKE TOWNSEND RETREATS TO SHADOWS
"An egg" can be assumed to be in reference to the official statement that players come from "the egg farm," with higher tier patrons on Patreon being able to add names to a the "Naming Pool, the platonic body that Irrigates the Field of Eggs"
Upon returning, Hotdogfingers has two status effects: Returned and Debted
The Peanut returns once again 18 minutes after election results go live, stating: HOTDOGFINGERS? / AMUSING / THE LEDGER MUST BE BALANCED / DEBTS PAID / GOOD LUCK
Season Seven
On Season 7, Day 5, Jaylen Hotdogfingers pitches their first game (against the Kansas City Breath Mints) after being revived. During this game, Jaylen hits 3 opposing batters with pitches, the first of whom is Dickerson Morse. This gives them the weekly (9 game days) modifier Unstable. Jaylen hits more batters in their next two games as well. This did not have any noticeable effect on the players. These hits are colloquially named “beanballs”
On Season 7, Day 7 Inky Rutledge of the Yellowstone Magic pitches the game's first no-hitter, and is awarded the 2-Blood Blagonball
Ruby Tuesday
On Day 30 (occurring on the Tuesday of that season) in the Seattle Garages’ game against the Hades Tigers, Jaylen hits Mclaughlin Scorpler, Moody Cookbook, and Zion Aliciakeys of the Tigers with pitches. All are given the Unstable modifier
On Day 32, during the Hades Tigers’ Solar Eclipse game against the Canada Moist Talkers, Moody Cookbook is incinerated in the top of the 3rd inning. The game ticker displays new text not previously seen during other incinerations:
A Debt was collected. Rogue Umpire incinerated Hades Tigers hitter Moody Cookbook! Replaced by Carmelo Plums. The instability spreads to the Moist Talkers’ Elijah Bates
NOTE: The phrasing “spreads” is later changed to “chains”
Bates is incinerated in the 6th inning, chaining the instability to the Hades Tigers’ Yazmin Mason. Scorpler is incinerated in the 7th inning, chaining the instability to the Canada Moist Talkers’ Anotnio Wallace
The Returned status effect now states that Hotdogfingers has a random chance of being returned to the grave randomly at the end of any given season
The incinerations continue in the Day 33 game between the two teams (notably, both games were Solar Eclipse games. This is the only weather that incinerations of this nature occur in, despite their differences from normal incinerations). Notably, Kiki Familia (the replacement for Elijah Bates) is incinerated in this game despite not having the Unstable modifier, marking Familia's as the new record for shortest ILB career at 5.1 innings
Hotdogfingers continues to cause instability/incinerations outside of this event. 12/14 incinerations this season are debt collections
On Day 63, Jessica Telephone is freed from her peanut during Lots of Birds weather, the ticker stating that the birds pecked her free
The Shelled One reappears, simply stating WAIT
Snackrifice
The Unlimited Tacos propose a plan to get all 5 of their pitchers shelled by getting them to the top of the idol board - the “ominous red line” now sitting beneath the 10th spot in the ranking rather than the 3rd
After the final game of the season, The Shelled One appears again
WOW / WOWW / WOWWW / SERIOUSLY / WILD / MILD / WILD / MILD / WILD / WOW / YES / THAT IS MORE LIKE IT. / HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SUCH TALENT? / TOP 3 WOULD BE BETTER THOUGH
This appears to be in response to the 3 Peanut-named players finishing in the Top 10 on the idol board. Those players now have the status effect Honey Roasted
WHAT IS THIS THOUGH? / A SHOW OF UNITY? / YOU WITHHOLD YOUR LABOR? / YOU THINK THAT GIVES YOU POWER? / PITY
The Snackrifice proves a success, leaving all the Tacos’ pitchers Shelled. PolkaDot Patterson of the Canada Moist Talkers and Axel Trololol of the Baltimore Crabs are Shelled as well
The Monitor - a giant, floating squid - makes its first appearance after The Shelled One's message
who was that / is it an egg / never ate an egg before / where is hotdogfingers / followed hotdogfingers here / from the hall / from the trench / i am gonna watch / see if that egg comes back
All fans are given 10,000 peanuts
The Mexico City Mild Wings take their first championship, and reclaim their original Wild Wings name
Season Seven Election
For the first time, The Monitor appears before election results are released rather than The Shelled One
that egg come back yet? / wonder what it tastes like / hey what is that you got there? / tiny eggs? / give em to me / i will make you a deal / wanna see your friends?
The Hall of Flame appears, listing deceased players and allowing fans to pay tribute to them with peanuts, with the players receiving the most tribute moving up the list. For a time, a dotted blue line appears beneath the 14th slot in the Hall
This leads to speculation that there may be a team of revived players in the future, since there are 14 players per team
The Bless Off decree passes, preventing the top 4 teams of the season from receiving blessings in the current election, these teams being the Baltimore Crabs, the Kansas City Breath Mints, the Charleston Shoe Thieves, and the Breckenridge Jazz Hands
Two more players retreat to the shadows due to blessings. They do not appear in the Hall of Flame, implying that players in the shadows are not dead
The Miami Dale receive the The Iffey Jr. blessing, with Raúl Leal receiving the item. Leal’s stats are minimized, but the team is protected from incinerations
Season Eight
Jaylen Hotdogfingers’ Debted status effect is changed to Refinanced Debt. Notably, the flavour text of the effect includes the word "debt" formatted in a manner that mimics the Tweets of The Microphone on Twitter, with the letters appearing within circles. The Microphone also releases a Tweet stating that it and Jaylen have "made a deal." Rather than causing the Unstable modifier, Jaylen’s pitches cause the Flickering weekly effect, which causes players to be much more likely to be Feedbacked during Feedback weather
As a result of the Snackrifice, the Unlimited Tacos gain a new pitcher in the form of the Pitching Machine (or PM). PM is subject to the same effects as regular players, including being able to siphon star rankings from other players during Blooddrain weather, which happens twice over the course of the season. It remains on the team even after Sexton Wheerer is pecked free on Day 47. Ironically, PM ends up Shelled after the main season, leaving Wheerer as the only Tacos pitcher
Microphone icons appear beside the 6th, 11th, and 18th places on the idol leaderboard
At the end of the regular season, Jaylen Hotdogfingers, NaN (Unlimited Tacos), and Sixpack Dogwalker (Hawai'i Fridays) occupy these slots after following clues from The Microphone on Twitter (this is theorized to have ties to the flavour text for the Interviews blessing: “The Microphone lifts”). NaN and Dogwalker both gain the Receiver modifier, and all three players gain a permanent Flickering modifier
After acquiring the Receiver modifier, the Pregame Ritual fields of NaN and Dogwalker’s player pages change rapidly: “hi friends / it is Wyatt / I have a plan”
“Wyatt” is generally assumed to be the original Wyatt Mason
After the 32nd game day of the season, the Monitor reappears
that egg still not back? / shame / you like seeing your friends? / you can see em all you want / just keep those eggs coming / hurry up / this one at a time thing is killing me / shovel em in there
A slider for paying tribute is added, rather than having to pay tribute with peanuts one by one
On Season 8, Day 61 Patty Fox of the New York Millennials pitches Blaseball's first perfect game, garnering the Millenials a win against the Boston Flowers and awarding Fox the 9-Blood Blagonball
On Day 94, a Rogue Umpire attempts to incinerate Dale bitter Beck Whitney. However, due to Raúl Leal’s possession of The Iffey Jr., Whitney survives. Additionally, the incineration is redirected back at the Rogue Umpire, who is incinerated instead
At the end of the regular season, The Shelled One made another appearance to admonish fans for their reaction to the Hall of Flame
IT IS COMPLETE / WAIT / WHAT ARE YOU DOING / I GIVE YOU SNACKS / AND YOU WASTE THEM? / STOP IT AT ONCE / SERIOUSLY / IT IS COMPLETE
Following this message, the Monitor appears again
hey wait come back / damn / what happened to your friends / are they eggs now? / hmm / still hungry
Theories arise stating that the Monitor may eat Shelled players
The Baltimore Crabs claim their second ILB championship title
Season Eight Election
The Shelled One appears before election results go live
YOU FOOLS / SERIOUSLY? / SERIOUSLY / 100 MILLION SNACKS / WASTED / YOU FOOLS / THAT IS IT / STRIKE FOUR / YOU ARE OUT / SEE YOU SOON
This contact comes shortly after another weeklong siesta is announced
The Wild Cards decree passes, stating that every season from hereon out, a random team from each subleague will leave Partytime to become the 5th playoff team. A best of three Wild Card series will occur on Fridays after the main season concludes
Ron Monstera of the Seattle Garages receives the benefits of the Forever Physical blessing, granting him protection from the Unstable modifier. Monstera is then immediately incinerated anyways due to the New Kid blessing, Monstera being the least idolized player on the team
Jaylen's pitches now cause the Repeating effect. This echoes the Reverberating effect, giving hitters a chance of batting again after their at-bat ends during Reverb weather
Due to their possession of the Iffey Jr. item, which reflected an Incineration back at a Rogue Umpire and killed it during Season Eight, the Miami Dale propose the Triple Kill plan. They request other teams' voting assistance to win the three blessings in this season's election that would incinerate players: Kill Your Darling, Dead Weight, and New Kid. They hope that this plan results in three more Rogue Umpire deaths
An image of The Monitor appears on the Idol Board, following the most idolized Shelled player. The running theory assumes that The Monitor will eat (or, at least, attempt to eat) this player
The Unlimited Tacos, in an effort to protect the Pitching Machine (who occupies the top Shelled Idol slot), propose the Brawl in the Hall plan. This plan proposes the idolization of Tacos lineup player Francisca Sasquatch as an attempt to sacrifice Sasquatch rather than the Pitching Machine
The Canada Moist Talkers - a team with an affinity for The Monitor, having proclaimed it their "Moist God" - pitch an alternative plan (with the Tacos' support): The Polka-Munion. This plan pushes the Shelled Moist Talkers pitcher PolkaDot Patterson into the top Shelled slot
After the conclusion of the main season, The Monitor makes an appearance
let's see here / egg time / *crunch* / wait yuck / think that egg spoiled / hmm / still hungry / need something more filling / you holding out on me? / better do something
The main site returns, with PolkaDot Patterson free of the peanut that they had been trapped in. Additionally, Patterson now has the Squiddish modifier. The modifier's flavour text reads "This player is a wee bit Squiddish"
Crowvertime
On Day 1 during a game between the San Francisco Lovers and the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, a new event triggers during Too Many Birds weather. As per the ticker, "A flock of Crows ambush Alexander Horne! They run to safety, resulting in an out." This occurs during the top of the 12th inning, and is the third out for Horne's team, the Lovers
This out fails to trigger the end of the inning, granting the Lovers a 16 out inning before the issue is resolved. They score a total of 7 runs, bringing the score to 12-5 for the Lovers, who win the game with a final score of 12-6
NaN/Jaylen World Tour
Due to their permanent Flickering status effects, NaN of the Unlimited Tacos and Jaylen Hotdogfingers of the Seattle Garages are both Feedbacked multiple times over the course of the season. Sixpack Dogwalker of the Hawai'i Fridays also possesses the modifier, but only Feedbacks once on Day 69, swapping to the Dallas Steaks
NaN is the first to Feedback on Day 6, swapping to the Houston Spies. NaN is Feedbacked a total of 3 times over the course of the season, moving from the Spies to the Mexico City Wild Wings, and then finally to the San Francisco Lovers
Jaylen Hotdogfingers Feedbacks 4 times starting on Day 7. Hotdogfingers moves from the Garages to the Philly Pies, back to the Garages, on to the Canada Moist Talkers, and finally to the Charleston Shoe Thieves to finish the season
During Peanut weather, giant peanuts now occasionally crash into the field. The first time this happens, it appears only as text in the game ticker that states "A Big Peanut crashes into the field!"
During the Unlimited Tacos vs. Boston Flowers game on Day 96, a second Big Peanut falls, but this time the ticker reads "A Big Peanut has crashed into the field, encasing Wyatt Quitter!" Wyatt Quitter of the Tacos is now Shelled
Notably, this season the Hawai'i Fridays break several league records for performance (though not the game-winning kind)
The Fridays finish the season with a win-loss record of 21-78
The Fridays enter Party Time on Day 73, becoming the earliest team to do so
While in Party Time, Fridays players partied a total of 16 times
On Day 99, Fridays players party 3 times. Players on the opposing team (the Kansas City Breath Mints) party twice, bringing the party total to 5 in one game
The first Wild Cards series occurs, with the Hawai'i Fridays playing against the Hades Tigers, and the Chicago Firefighters playing against the Hellmouth Sunbeams. The Tigers and Sunbeams emerge victorious in their respective series, leaving the playoffs lineup unaffected
The Hawai'i Fridays proceed to break two more league records during the Wild Cards series, being the team with the lowest win-loss record to have participated in the postseason, as well as that win-loss record earning them the dubious honor of being the team with the lowest win-loss record to actually win a postseason game
On Day 103, Nagomi McDaniels is pecked free by birds
The Charleston Shoe Thieves narrowly manage to avert the Baltimore Crabs' ascension, winning their first championship title in the 5th game of the Finals series
EMERGENCY ALERT
INCOMING
SEEK COVER
Season Nine, Day X
The above messages occupy the entirety of the site's screen after the final game of the postseason
The Microphone account on Twitter Tweets several times (stylized text has been simplified for ease of access, with descriptions being provided in brackets)
IT'S HAPPENING (text inverted)
FRIENDS (bolded letters present as outlines only)
TAKE COVER (letters replaced by emoticon variants)
INCOMING (letters in circles)
The Shelled One appears
I AM HERE / AND YOU ARE OUT / COME TO ME MY PODS / HEAVEN WILL TREMBLE BEFORE YOU / YOU THINK YOU ARE SO TOUGH? / YOU THINK YOU HAVE POWER? / WE WILL SEE / TIME TO TEACH YOU SOME DISCIPLINE / HAD ENOUGH?
The site returns to a game screen, but not in the typical sense: it displays as a video game-style boss battle, The Shelled One displayed at the top of the screen taunting its opposition - the newly crowned season champions, the Charleston Shoe Thieves. Both teams have a "health" bar that displays above the game ticker (clarified in modifier flavour text as being called Team Spirit, see below)
The Shelled One now has a team of its own: THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS. This consists of every currently Shelled or Honey Roasted player in the League. Any Shelled player becomes unshelled and gains the Honey Roasted modifier as well. All players are lineup players except for Axel Trololol, the new team's only pitcher. The team's players are as follows, along with their previous teams:
PLAYER
PREVIOUS TEAM
Peanut Bong
Miami Dale
Wyatt Quitter
Unlimited Tacos
Francisca Sasquatch
Unlimited Tacos
Patel Beyonce
Unlimited Tacos
Alejandro Leaf
Unlimited Tacos
Wyatt Pothos
Unlimited Tacos
Pitching Machine
Unlimited Tacos
Peanutiel Duffy
Hades Tigers
York Silk
Hawai'i Fridays
Jessica Telephone
Philly Pies
Peanut Holloway
Philly Pies
Axel Trololol
Baltimore Crabs
Notably, this leaves the Unlimited Tacos with the smallest team in league history at only nine players: eight hitters and one pitcher
THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS have a total of seven permanent modifiers:
Peanut Rain: This team weaponizes Peanut weather against their enemies
Occasionally during this game (or Boss Fight, as becomes the more common terminology) peanuts fall from the sky, damaging the opposing team's Team Spirit
Crunchy: The Honey-Roasted players on a Crunchy team will hit 100% better and with +200% Power
God: This team will start with 1,000x the amount of Team Spirit
The Fourth Strike: Those with The Fourth Strike will get an extra strike in each at bat
This modifier functions identically to the one awarded to regular teams, first appearing as a Decree during Season Two
Curse of Crows: This team or player will be occasionally attacked by birds
This modifier, when triggered, mirrors the event which triggered Crowvertime during the main season (but does not suffer the same game-breaking outs glitch)
Subjection: Players leaving a team with Subjection will gain the Liberated modification
Theories state that Liberation can be accomplished via idolization and player thefts awarded by certain Blessings that steal players idolized to various extents. The effect of the Liberated modifier is unclear, as it has never appeared before
Destruction: Teams with Destruction will add 5 Curses to their Opponent when defeating them in battle
The Shelled One rapidly shifts weather over the course of the game/battle
Actions such as strikes, outs, and scoring deal damage to the team negatively affected (for example, strikes deal damage to the team incurring them, and runs scored deal damage to the team scored against)
At the midpoint of the game, The Shelled One declares its own benevolence and boosts the Shoe Thieves' Team Spirit from one point to beyond the count which they started with
Around this time, The Microphone Tweets again to offer encouragement to Hotdogfingers, who is pitching against THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS
HANG ON JAYLEN (letters in boxes)
Ultimately, the Shoe Thieves are defeated, and The Shelled One takes up the entire screen again to make one more statement
RING RING / RING RING / AMUSING / WANT TO SAVE YOUR FRIENDS? / GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT / I WILL BE WAITING
Upon returning to the main site, the Charleston Shoe Thieves players all have the modifier ????
The modifier's flavour text simply states "This Modification is unknown"
This is later revealed to be a site error (not present for all players), which is resolved fully for Season Ten
Ten minute's after The Shelled One departs, The Monitor appears
did i miss something? / shoot / let me know next time
Finally, upon further investigation, NaN's pregame ritual is found to have changed once again
Have Hope
Season Nine Election
All of Season Nine's decree options are titled Forecast: [weather type], with an option present for every type of weather currently in the game. Three of these decrees pass, and their weather types are the only ones present during Season Ten
Forecast: Birds: EMERGENCY ALERT / SEVERE MURMURATION WARNING IN THIS AREA
Forecast: Blooddrain: EMERGENCY ALERT / SEVERE BLOODDRAIN WARNING IN THIS AREA
Forecast: Eclipse: EMERGENCY ALERT / SEVERE SOLAR ECLIPSE WARNING IN THIS AREA
Three modifiers are randomly distributed to players on each team
Fire Eater: Fire Eaters swallow fire instead of being incinerated
Beyond just being immune to incineration, when the Fire Eater modifier triggers, it changes to the Magmatic modifier, granting the player bearing it a guaranteed home run during their next at bat. It then reverts
Siphon: Siphons will steal blood more often in Blooddrain and use it more ways
Siphons now occasionally use the Blooddrain to trigger new effects, such as removing a strike that they have incurred
Friend of Crows: In Birds weather, pitchers with Friend of Crows will encourage the birds to attack hitters
The Fifth Base Bubble Blessing goes to the Baltimore Crabs, giving all teams except for those in the Wild High division a fifth base to run before scoring
The Seattle Garages win the Out of Sight Blessing, which sends four of their players to their Shadows. Notably, this returns Mike Townsend to play in exchange for Ortiz Morse (Townsend being the first player ever to "retreat to the Shadows" in exchange for Jaylen Hotdogfingers' resurrection)
The Microphone account begins Tweeting again
MIKE(bolded text, outlines only)
IT'S TIME (block font)
COMEBACK (text inside squares)
The Boston Flowers win the The Shame Bubble Blessing, which gives every team other than those in the Wild Low division the Targeted Shame seasonal modifier, functioning identically to the Decree passed in Season Four's election
The Miami Dale win only one incineration Blessing, New Kid, but the target of that incineration (Don Elliott) is, indeed, protected by the Iffey Jr.
The Unlimited Tacos win the Downsizing Blessing, further reducing their team to an eight player roster by sending Wyatt Dovenpart to the Shadows
The Microphone Tweets again 11 hours prior to the start of Season Ten
JAYLEN (bolded text, outlines only)
TELL IT (regular script)
TELL ITS BOSS (text inside squares)
We're In (text inverted)
she can have the shares (subscript)
HOSTILE TAKEOVER (emoticons)
Jaylen Hotdogfingers' Debt modifier is removed
Season Ten
Shortly after the Season starts, the Microphone begins Tweeting again
oh no (small text, wobbly)
THEYRE BLOCKED (text in boxes)
Focus Wyatt (text in circles)
N o T h o u g h t s
CLEAR (bold text, outlines only)
The Shoe Thieves' new Modifiers are now visible: Flinch for hitters and Mild for pitchers
Flinch: Hitters with Flinch cannot swing until a strike has been thrown in the At Bat
Mild: Pitchers with Mild have a chance of throwing a Mild pitch
Once again, icons are present on the Idolboard, this time corresponding to weather types
Birds icons on slots 3 and 12
Eclipse icons on slots 6 and 15
Bloddrain icons on slots 9 and 18
A Feedback icon on slot 14
Various pieces of evidence point to the 14th slot being intended for Jaylen Hotdogfingers to occupy at the conclusion of the main season
The Mic's Tweets referencing Jaylen
The Bulletin section on the main site states that "Wyatt initiated Phase 2 of the Plan, restructuring Jaylen's Debt and encouraging players around the league to Repeat history, filling out paradoxical scoresheets for the numbers nerds." Theories state that this means that Jaylen is meant to occupy the 14th slot on the Idolboard, the same slot that they occupied in order to trigger the Necromancy that brought them back. Incidentally, Repeating was the last modifier that Jaylen caused prior to their debt being removed.
The Blaseball Beat (a newsletter sent out to email addresses registered to the site) states "Elsewhere, the Microphone appears to have moved into a new phase of its Plan. After putting Jaylen in the right place at the wrong time, the Microphone urged the undead ace to accept the terms of yet another, even more mysterious deal, bringing warnings of a hostile takeover."
Later on in the Season, the Baltimore Crabs begin pushing Tillman Henderson (a deceased pitcher) up the Idolboard to occupy an Eclipse slot, citing the humor in seeing him Incinerated twice. However, upon reaching a weather slot, his name and the slot's number begin to glow blue, and the Microphone begins to Tweet once more
focus wyatt / help them / Remember / CLEAR / friends / they're still here / i can see them / give them power / FRIENDS / rise / Remember. / rise / RISE
A push begins to get six deceased players into the Birds, Eclipse, and Blooddrain slots (cited with their teams prior to Incineration, and the dates that they played in Season/Day format): Caligula Lotus (Boston Flowers, 3/47-6/31) to Slot 3, Landry Violence (Hades Tigers, 1/1-3/110) to Slot 6, Workman Gloom (Charleston Shoe Thieves, Canada Moist Talkers, 1/1-7/81) to Slot 9, Sebastian Telephone (Dallas Steaks, 1/1-7/67) to Slot 12, Tillman Henderson (Baltimore Crabs, 1/1-9/64) to Slot 15, and Randall Marijuana (Hellmouth Sunbeams, Breckenridge Jazz Hands, 1/1-6/84) to Slot 18. These players ware chosen due to their popularity in the Hall of Flame, as well as to represent as wide a spread of the League's teams as possible
The plan is almost a total success, but the New York Millenials' Thomas Dracaena winds up in slot 18 rather than Marijuana, and Hahn Fox of the Sunbeams in slot 12 instead of Telephone, at the end of the main Season. The players occupying those slots - deceased or not - gain the Siphon, Friend of Crows, or Fire Eater modifiers according the the weather type of the slot occupied
The Microphone begins to Tweet as the results are finalized
okay / here goes nothing / Yes! / We did it! / It worked! / Hello? / Friends? / Friends where are you? / It's Wyatt / We did it / It worked / It was supposed to work
Upon the results being made available, it is discovered the Jaylen has been called back to the Void, as per the Returned modifier. In Jaylen's place, pitching for the Shoe Thieves, is Tillman Henderson, who occupied the 14th slot in the Hall of Flame. This mirrored Jaylen's position on the Idolboard, presumably the reason that he was the one to take their place. Henderson now has the Returned modifier
The Microphone simply Tweets oh no
On Season 10, Day 7 Simon Haley of the Charleston Shoe Thieves scores the game's first Pentaslam (made possible by the Fifth Base Bubble Blessing) in a game against the Philly Pies. Haley is awarded the 4-Blood Blagonball
During the third game of the Postseason Finals, the Baltimore Crabs are up 2-0 against the Shoe Thieves. The Crabs score their 10th run of the game, and the following text appears in the game ticker
THE CRABS ACCUMULATE 10 / THE SUN COLLAPSES / THE MOON IS SWALLOWED / THE BLACK HOLE FORMS / SUN 2 RISES / The Black Hole swallowed a Win from the Shoe Thieves!
The Shoe Thieves now have a win:loss ratio of -1:2, and the score reverts to 0:0
There is some debate as to whether this was intentional or an accidental triggering of the Black Hole decree present as an option in this Season's election
The Crabs win nonetheless and claim their third championship title, securing their Ascension (as per a message in the discord from an Umpire, stating "Ascension is imminent")
EMERGENCY ALERT
INCOMING
AGAIN
SEEK SHELTER
AGAIN
Season Ten, Day X
Again, the site is dominated by Emergency Alert and its accompanying messages
The Shelled One arrives
THIS IS YOUR CHAMPION? / THEM? / CRUSTACEANS / YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTHY / TO GO UP? / TO CLIMB? / FOOLS / MY PODS / BATTING PRACTICE
The last message is accompanied by a return to the "Boss Battle" screen present on Season 9, Day X. However, this time, THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS defeat the Baltimore Crabs in only four pitches - one ball and one home run completely eliminating their Team Spirit. They gain the Flinch and Mild modifiers
At the same time, the Microphone begins to Tweet
friends / we can't win this / not alone / we need help
The Shelled One makes a final appearance
LET THIS BE A LESSON / THE BIG LEAGUES ARE CALLING
The Microphone Tweets simultaneously again
i made a deal / it was the best i could do / one more game / and then / well / i don't know what happens then / but please / now or never / rally / Yes! / okay friends! / Let's do this / Let's go kill God
A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS
Landry Violence rises... Their Spirit is added to the Hall Stars
Workman Gloom rises... Their Spirit is added to the Hall Stars
Kiki Familia rises... Their Spirit is added to the Hall Stars
The Boss Battle screen reappears, with THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS (with 29.6 million Team Spirit) now facing off against a new team (with 142 million Team Spirit, and Jaylen Hotdogfingers as their sole pitcher): The Hall Stars, bearing the team slogan "Hey now, you're a Hall Star"
PLAYER
LAST KNOWN TEAM
Boyfriend Monreal
Kansas City Breath Mints
Landry Violence
Hades Tigers
Randall Marijuana
Breckenridge Jazz Hands
Workman Gloom
Canada Moist Talkers
Tyreek Olive
Chicago Firefighters
Dominic Marijuana
New York Millenials
Sebastian Telephone
Dallas Steaks
Morrow Doyle
Charleston Shoe Thieves
Sebastian Sunshine
Hawai'i Fridays
Kiki Familia
Canada Moist Talkers
Yazmin Mason
Hades Tigers
Caligula Lotus
Boston Flowers
Emmett Internet
Hellmouth Sunbeams
Jaylen Hotdogfingers
Charleston Shoe Thieves
The Hall Stars, like the PODS, have many team modifiers
Squiddest: This Team is the Squiddest. When a player joins the Team, they'll become Squiddish
Chaotic: The Unstable players on a Chaotic team will be 100% better
Tribute: When Hall of Flame players join this team, they'll add their Tribute as Team Spirit
The only time that this modifier triggers during the game is when Sebastian Telephone is Incinerated (for a second time), and is replaced by Scrap Murphy, formerly of the New York Millenials
Loyalty: Players leaving a team with Loyalty will gain the Saboteur modification
Saboteur: A Saboteur has a chance of intentionally failing
This triggers several times as Jaylen's Flickering causes Feedback weather, Hotdogfingers and Axel Trololol switching teams several times over the course of the game
Pending: The players on this Team are Pending...
Containment: When an Unstable player on this team is incinerated, the Instability cannot chain to their opponent
The teams vie for superiority, with The Hall Monitor appearing in the background behind The Shelled One with increasing prominence as THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS' Team Spirit is chipped away
The Shelled One makes jabs as before, such as referencing York Silk as MY DORK and chanting RING RING when Jessica Telephone comes up to bat, but gets increasingly panicked as it starts to lose Team Spirit, declaring things like THAT HURT?! and YOU'RE CHEATING, and begging its team to crush the opposition
The Hall Stars emerge victorious, with Landry Violence becoming Magmatic (due to Violence's Idolboard-granted Fire Eater modifier) and scoring a home run, closely followed by Dominic Marijuana scoring the final run to secure victory
The site returns, but The Hall Monitor quickly appears
cronch / hmm / kinda bland / you all eat these? / what's the point / oh well / deal's a deal / almost forgot / Boss is on her way / you might want to clean up a bit
The site finally returns for good (for now). Notably, the players on The Hall Stars are absent from the Hall of Flame
The Microphone sends out another series of Tweets
Friends / Jaylen / I can't see you anymore / If you can hear me / Thank you / Wherever you are / I hope you get to rest